Dear Quiet Girl in the Office
They lied to you. Whoever told you to keep your head down and do your job? They lied. At the time, that advice worked but now, it’s destroying you. It is career suicide. No one will promote you because you are good at your job if they don’t know you. I have been an intern for two months and this has been my biggest takeaway. I am not the first to be seen or heard. In my quiet workspace, sometimes people forget I exist. Which I thought was fine until I realized, I have missed out on a couple of opportunities. I have realized that humility does not belong in the workplace, you have to be bold. My work will not speak for itself, I have to do it.
As someone who has been a victim of the words, you are doing too much; I have had to teach myself to be less, to do less. But that has left me resentful of those who are doing more. Not because I don’t compare but because I can but have had to condition myself not to. The results have not been rewarding. It is not a flex to be a fly on the wall. It is annoying when people do not remember my name. It is suffocating to the soul to not take up the space you are meant to. When people do not know who you are, what you do, what you are good at, when you’ve been working together for a while, then something is wrong.
I am learning to be loud. To say what I want to say even if my voice shakes. Even if I do not have the words, I will find them. To be seen. To be aggressive. To go after what I want. I am learning that putting myself first is not selfish. It is not about anyone else, this is about me and my career. Ruffle feathers if they need to be ruffled. Because that is how change is created. It is not easy but these are growing pains. I am happy to have people who put themselves first around me. I get to see firsthand how it is done. They encourage me to be me. Loudly and unapologetically.
Don’t dim your light to make someone else shine brighter. Because someone somewhere is benefiting from your self-doubt. The worst thing is you cannot get to be mad at them for benefiting from what you could not do. The only person you get to be angry at is yourself. It is a bitter pill but it is true. So Dear Quiet Girl in the Office, your fear is lying to you, stop conforming to expectations, be loud, advertise yourself shamelessly, be bold, and let people learn your name.
Article by: Benedette Wanyaga, AMWIK Intern
